My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #390

Here's my entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #390 for August 5, 2013. The cartoon is by Drew Dernavich, but the musical caption is all mine.

"My apologies. Was it tuna you ordered then?"

I came up with two additional captions that didn't quite make the cut, but I've grown fond of them, so I'll share them with you just the same.

"Any requests that go oom-pah-pah?"
"It's my very own transcription of 'The Ring.'"

Note:  My previous somewhat fishy entry in the Cartoon Caption Contest can be found here.

My previous blog posts with Drew Dernavich's work are here.

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #389

Here is my entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #389 for July 29, 2013. The cartoon is by Paul Noth. The caption, I'm afraid, is all mine.

"Rare enough for you?"

I came up with just a few barely reasonable captions this week, but I didn't think I hit it out of the park with any of them. This made my choice very difficult. Finally, I decided to rewrite one of my working captions into what became my slightly underdone entry.

"So you've given up beef. That's a very good start!"

"Feeling guilty yet?"

"You did ask for rare."

"I'm so relieved you don't have a mouth."

My family thought that last caption was the one to go with, and maybe they were right. Nevertheless, I decided against it because I thought it unwise to submit a line that made such a direct reference to a convention of the cartoon medium. I didn't want a caption that tacitly acknowledge it was part of a cartoon. It's like breaking down the fourth wall, so to speak. Nevertheless, it just might be the funniest one here.

August 5, 2013 Update: The Finalists

Note:  My previous entry in the Cartoon Caption Contest awaits you here. Not only did I fail to choose a winning caption, I didn't even find the correct speaker. Well, perhaps I did, but the editors didn't think so.

To see more on this blog about Paul Noth, you can start by looking here. It's a prior Caption Contest where my entry, if it had won, is not the sort of thing I could ever have lived down. Thank goodness no one saw it! Then be sure to check out what Paul Noth drew in my copy of The Best of the Rejection Collection here. You'd best have some coffee at the ready.

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #388

I don't know why The New Yorker's cartoonists think doctors are so funny. I'm pretty sure we aren't. But I love Tom Cheney's cartoons, so I'll play along to the best of my ability. Here then is my entry for The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #388 for July 22, 2013.

"Hey, only doctors play golf in here!"

July 29, 2013 Update:  The Finalists

Note:  My previous entry in The New Yorker's Cartoon Caption Contest is here. Or see some earlier blog posts with Tom Cheney here.

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #387

 It's been under wraps until now, but here is my entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #387. The drawing is by Carolita Johnson.

"I have a secret too. I'm blind."

For me, the most difficult thing about the Cartoon Caption Contest is the requirement that only one caption by submitted each week. This means I must eliminate some of my own less-inspired ideas, and I can grow fond of them, believe me. I like it when I can get just one good idea and go with it. Often I find I have too many ideas that are just good enough and then I have to make a very difficult choice. That's when I end up second-guessing myself regarding which captions I've eliminated. This week's cartoon presented an embarrassment of riches, so I thought I might share with you this example of my working process. After only three months of lukewarm submissions, I don't claim any special expertise. I really do like this cartoon, by the way, but again it suggested way too many caption ideas.

"Don't you think I can recognize my ex-husband, Frank?"
"I give up. Who's wanted for larceny in three states?"
"You're in luck. I have a thing for men of mystery."
"Weren't you here last year? I never forget a paper bag."
"I have a secret too. I'm blind."
"Did you really think I'd get in the sack with you?"
"I don't use plastic either."
"You forgot a mouth hole."
"Can I buy you a mask?"
"Why all the cloak-and-dagger, Mr. Snowden?"
"Tonto just left, Kimosabe."
"After this, would you like to go shopping?"

July 22, 2013 Update:  The Finalists

August 5, 2013 Update:  Winning Caption

Note:  My previous entry in the Cartoon Caption Contest, a bit of medical humor with a caption by someone who usually doesn't find medicine humorous, can be found here.

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #386

The doctor is in! Here is my entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #386 for July 1, 2013. The drawing is by P. C. Vey.

"I believe you do have a very serious problem, Mr. Reynolds, but it isn't heartworm."

July 15, 2013 Update:  The Finalists

July 29, 2013 Update:  Winning Caption

Note:  My previous entry in the Cartoon Caption Contest can be found here.

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #385

Please pull over to the side of the road and check out my latest entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #385 for June 24, 2013. The drawing is by Christopher Weyant.

"Look, we can work through the math here or I can take you
downtown and the judge will appoint you a tutor."

"

 July 1, 2013 Update:  The Finalists

July 22, 2013 Update:  Winning Caption

Note:  Read my previous entry in the Cartoon Caption Contest here.

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Attempted Bloggery: Two Years and Counting

It was two years ago today that I unleashed my spanking new blog on an unsuspecting world. Beforehand, I had produced no trial posts and I had no master plan. I just began doing it and I suppose that was a good enough approach for me. The very earliest posts here are perhaps a little bit clunkier than what I'm creating now, but the overall taste and temperament of the blog haven't changed very much because my taste and temperament haven't changed very much. In fact, I still like the same stuff I liked in the 1970's.

Over these two years I have produced, on average, slightly more than one post per day, for a running total of 785. Although I have only a scant 20 public followers, there have been over 225,000 page views since inception, and that number is currently growing by about 10,000 a month. For a blog that's anything but universal in its appeal, that seems to me to be a pretty reasonable number. Of course, I'd always be pleased to have more readers. In fact, most nights I go to bed wondering whether tomorrow will be the day this blog finally goes viral.

Even without that, I'm having a pretty good time here. Do you know what I love about blogging? I love not having an editor! Anyone who has read, for example, my New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest entries has to be aware that I don't have proper supervision. I'm the only boss here. There is no imperious blog committee urging me to push things in a new and more popular direction. With obscurity comes freedom.

My blog, then, reflects my freedom to write pretty much whatever I want. One thing that I have been astonished by is the reaction of the Chinese people, who as far as I can tell have no pressing reason whatsoever to visit this blog. Nevertheless, they have been coming in droves--well, very small droves--and despite an authoritarian government placing harsh restrictions on internet access, many have exercised a new-found freedom to bypass central censorship by coming here, of all places. Over the past month, China very briefly placed sixth here among page views by country before lapsing back to seventh place behind Canada. I find that remarkably refreshing and encouraging even though I don't fully understand it.

So what does the future hold? I can't really say. After all, I didn't know I'd be entering The New Yorker's Cartoon Caption Contest until I actually tried it back in April and decided to go public with my unlikely efforts. It really wasn't planned.

What I do anticipate is relocating Blog Central to a suburban refuge, but I don't yet have a clue in what fashion this will alter the content of my blogging. I certainly don't expect to compose any posts with useful tips on outdoor grilling, but who knows? We shall see together, won't we?

Note:  You can read my very first blog post here. See how it all got started.

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My Entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #384

Presenting my latest entry in The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #384 for June 10, 2013. The drawing is by Benjamin Schwartz.

"Then it's agreed that we may dispense with the reading of the minutes."

June 24, 2013 Update:  The Finalists

July 15, 2013 Update:  Winning Caption

Note:  Read my previous entry in the Cartoon Caption Contest here.

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